Teenage Depression
Teenage depression has risen sharply in Singapore as students are forced into home-based learning due to COVID-19. For many students, striving for good grades, navigating friendships and boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, and also coping with parents can make them feel overwhelmed.
As parents, we never set high expectations but our child applies pressure on themselves.
Commonly, it starts when you bring your child to the clinic because of stomach pain or giddiness. Initially, we are not sure if the child is trying to avoid school because they seem to be sick only just before school. But after a few times, we notice that they seem anxious and depressed, avoiding crowded malls or restaurants and lock themselves in their room. But this only scratches the surface because there are many reasons why your child is depressed. The good news is that most children can be open to therapy with some encouragement.
18 signs your Teenager is Depressed
Withdrawn / Not talking to anyone / Refusing to leave their room
Not eating regularly or eating very little.
Looking tired / Chronic fatigue / Sleeping all the time
Breaking down and cry when stressed
Always on the handphone / Gaming many hours every day.
Sleeping very late / Insomnia / Poor sleep
Self-harm / Cutting themselves on the arm or inner thigh
Self-doubt / low self-confidence / Feel like they are failing
Can’t focus / Attention problems
Mood Swings / Irritable / Temperamental
Angry easily / Violent
Feeling alone and empty
Head feeling heavy / Headaches
No motivation / Procrastinating
Burned out / Tired
Pain in the chest / Heavy heart
Feel Worthless / Self blame
Negative and Suicidal thoughts
Mr Rahardjo has a son with Anger and Depression
Parents sometimes feel exhausted walking on egg shells to avoid making their child angry. Anger and fear can hurt the harmony at home and spiral other family members into depression. Junius shares how his son overcame 10 years of anger and depression through our 5 Session Depression Therapy for Teenagers.
Mr Ang has a son doing O-Levels suffering from depression
O- Levels is an important year for students. Depression during this important period can affect your child’s future. As parents we are worried seing our child tired and unmotivated. Mr. Ang shares his son’s journey to greater confidence and the ability to handle setbacks from depression through our 5 Session Anxiety and Depression Therapy for Teenagers.
How a child copes with Depression
Your child could be feeling restless and distract themselves with their phones and computer games. Innocently, we sometimes draw the conclusion they are addicted to their laptop and handphones but they reply that it’s their way to de-stress. You wonder if this is an addiction issue that leads their mind to be active at night so we worry about their mental health. The truth of the matter is that they are trying to cope.
8 Common Reasons Why Teenagers are Depressed
- High Self Expectation They are always hard on themselves for not getting the grades they want.
- New school environment They just moved to a new school and facing issues settling in. Your child misses their old friends and feels alone.
- Home-based Learning (HBL) changes the child’s study pattern adds stress and some children find it difficult to cope.
- Burnout from overloading activities, school work, or cramming for exams.
- Relationship problems like a toxic friend, boyfriend/girlfriend or they don’t know how to make friends in a new school.
- Low self-confidence They feel that everyone is better than them and they are not good enough.
- Worry Fearful about their grades, how people perceive them, future career
- Trauma They were bullied in school, saw friends self-harm, abused at home, or experienced a death in the family.
Is your child is seeing the school counselor but asking for professional help?
It may not be that the school counselor is ineffective. School counselors work with a wide range of issues with students and sometimes may not have the time or ability to give 100% focus every child. Also, the child may prefer to discuss their issues with a non-school counselor because they fear leaking of information to their form teachers and classmates. With a greater sense of privacy, many children get better results in private counselling and therapy.
Should self-harm be taken seriously?
Alarm bells should ring when you notice they are scratching parts of their bodies until it bleeds or cutting themselves with scissors or blades on the arm or inner thighs. Or when they berbalise that "life is meaningless", "What is the point of school and life?". You should seek professional help quickly as self-harm can lead to suicide.
A psychiatrist prescribed medication but is it safe?
Some parents initially brought their child to see a psychiatrist and given medication. If you are hesitating to drug your child because of the possible side effects, you are not alone. In the United Kingdom, the government did a study that linked higher suicide rates with children on depression medication. Counseling was advised as a safer option and produce more lasting results. if you quickly enroll your child for counseling, then medication may not be required.
The choice of Public hospitals like IMH or Private counselor?
Due to Covid-19, the waiting period to see the doctors at IMH are too long and your child can feel frustrated, restless, angry, and spiral deeper into depression. Seeing a private counselor can shorten the waiting time and your child can get help faster.
As parents, we are desperate to find a way to help them. Sometimes, we can’t pinpoint the cause because the child may be doing well in school. The reason could be some form of trauma in the past that the parents are unaware of. Seeing your child having a meltdown makes us worry.
As parents, we are struggling too. We may act strong in front of our child but we could on the very edge of depression ourselves. In this case, we should ask the counselor for help too.
How to help your child with depression
You may have asked your child if they are open to help. They said “No.” What next?
Keep trying. When it comes to depression, there is a repeated cycle where the child is not currently open to help and periods where they are actively searching for a solution and willing to get help.
The best way to help your child is what you are doing right now, finding the right counselor for your child. And as you find the right counselor, you start encouraging your child to agree to counseling. Get them feeling confident they too can succeed by reading the latest client reviews or video testimonials. Keep encouraging them to get help. After some time, they might agree.
As parents, we feel sad seeing them like this and don’t know where to turn for help. Sometimes they need external help.
Eventhough they currently have lost confidence, feel restless, feel irritable or angry, and can’t control themselves. There is hope, with the right therapy, depression can be overcome.
Mae has a son who had Trauma / PTSD and depression.
The 2015 Sabah earthquake shocked Singapore and caused PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to the schoolchildren who survivored, causing them grief, anxiety and depression even today. Here is Mae, a mother sharing how her child persevered and finally overcame 5 years of anxiety and depression through our 5 Session Anxiety and Depression Therapy for Teenagers.
Anxiety and Depression Counselling and Therapy for Teenagers
At Stress.SG we have a program specific to the unique challenges of Teenagers ranging from as young as 12 all the way to 23 years old.
We have a specific program for children in their PSLE year and a different program for Secondary school, Junior College, Polytechnic and University. We also have a program for those serving National Service.
As parents, we feel sad seeing them like this and don’t know where to turn for help. Sometimes we have to tell them they need external help as you can see they have lost confidence, feel restless, anger management problems, and can’t control themselves. There is hope, with the right therapy, depression can be overcome.
